Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Blurting Stupidity Leaves Your Ass Hanging in the Wind, and There's a Skidmark Showing Through Your Unders...

I know this is like taking an already beaten dead horse, dragging it to a flight of stairs, and throwing it down them so it may land in a Buschemi-esque wood-chipper. I know that. But the above video, and the people therein, have for some reason gotten under my skin. This video makes me angry. Fuming. Seething with rage. And it has nothing to do with me being either a fan of David Letterman or a liberal. As far as Letterman goes, I could take him or leave him. I may have seen the Late Show a half-dozen times in the last 10 years. I'm a Craig Ferguson/Conan O'Brien fan. I'm never really up late enough to watch late night television, and when I am, those 2 are the guys I want to watch. And as far as politics, i would consider myself pretty moderate, with some liberal tendencies. Both of the major parties have good, but differing opinions on everything under the sun. I gauge what I believe and what I want for myself and my future, then decide accordingly; as ANY rational human being should.

Rational (adj.) - consistent with or based on or using reason; intellectual: of or associated with or requiring the use of the mind; having its source in or being guided by the intellect.

Rational. That is the one word that makes me take issue with every. single. person…in the video above. Not one of them elicits anything that can be considered a rational thought. Signs adorned with the words like ‘pedophile’ and ‘sex offender’; words like ‘rapist’ being shouted as loudly as if hailing a cab with it. Where is the thought process here?

Granted, there was some thought that went into the planning of the ‘rally’. Facebook groups, web sites, Twitter threads all went up in a matter of days presenting this group’s side of things, no matter how out of context their argument was. And for that kind of response, I suppose commendation is due. Hell I barely have enough motivation to post random ramblings on a blog where I can talk about anything, and these people were able to mobilize a whole campaign, no matter how slanted the view, in a matter of hours. Good on ya’ for that, guys and gals! But that’s where my praise stops.

Let’s first look at this from a base and purely legal perspective. These people have every right to peacefully assemble, as protected by the first amendment. They weren’t there to incite a riot and made no threats to the public peace. Considering what’s been in the news lately about right wing whack-jobs (see Dr. Tiller murder and Holocaust Museum shootings) being peaceful was a pretty smart move. But they leave themselves exposed. I would ask any one of the people in the video above; people in the Twitter threads; people joining the ‘Fire Dave!’ Facebook pages or web sites; I want them to look up the words slander and libel in the dictionary. Each and every one of them who has taken this joke out of context and has denounced David Letterman, and condemned his words is treading on committing one, if not both of these acts. It’s not everyone, mind you. People merely stating that his joke was in poor taste or should have been cut, and the like, are fine. It’s the people crying the words like ‘rapist’, ‘pedophile’, and ‘molester’ who should worry. Not only are those words dangerous in the first place to sling around like they were fish in a market, what these people are doing and how they are doing it could very well be seen as defamatory.

In no way has David Letterman ever been accused, tried, or found guilty of rape, pedophilia, or any type of molestation. These groups of people, no matter how insignificant, continuously proselytizing so, are the very root of slander and libel. Not to mention, these emphatic nitwits appear to be pissed off about second, third, or even fourth hand information. I highly doubt any one of them has actually seen video of Letterman's joke or his retraction/apology. My evidence to state such a thing?

Let's just use the wonky-eyed lass at the beginning of the video, since she seems to be the one with the most to say a, by her accent, may have traveled the farthest. In the first 20 seconds of the video, she proves almost my entire point in one sentence. "Everyone in the country is very very frustrated and upset that he was allowed to make a rape joke about a little girl, 14 years old, sitting on the sidelines, watching, of all things, an American basketball game." This is followed a few moments later by... "Is someone making jokes about his child? Especially, you know, when he had a daughter out of wedlock himself." Then you have the obviously closeted guy in the gray fleece jacket saying "You think you're so smart. You think you know so much."

After seeing this video...yes, yes I do Mr. Closet. Let's start from the beginning...

Bullshit #1 - "Everyone in the country is very very frustrated and upset..."

Considering the rally participants were outnumbered approximately 2 to 1 by reporters alone, that's pretty much completely fabricated. A few thousand people are mildly upset and a dozen or so were pissed off enough to drive into Mid-Town for it. And you using such excellent modifiers like 'very' and 'very' to bolster you argument, isn't going to help hammer it home.

Bullshit #2 - " make a rape joke..."

Nowhere in his joke was the word rape used, nor was it alluded to. Who are you to assume that neither the elder, the 18 year old, or the 14 year old Palin wouldn't and don't want to willingly fuck A-Rod 26 different kinds of crazy, even to the point of letting him plug them in the ass???? I'm pretty sure it's safe to say he would fuck the first 2 no problem, if for no other reason than for bragging rights. That's like bagging a Sasquatch and a Yeti in the same hunting trip. A-Rod would never bang a 14 year old though because professional athletes like him are so honest and forthcoming with wholesome American values. I bet he'd let her lick it.

Bullshit #3 - "...about a little girl, 14 years old..."
How old are you when stop being a little girl? For a 14 year old, she's pretty damn strapping and could probably kick some major ass. Not to mention, doesn't a little girl become a woman when she gets her first menses?? If you're so worried about her getting knocked-up by A-Rod, then I guess she's a woman then isn't she? Obviously Bristol is. Levi found that out.

Bullshit #4 - "...sitting on the sidelines..."

She was in the bleachers. Sidelines appear in football, soccer, and basketball. They have no sidelines in baseball.

Bullshit #5 - "...watching, of all things, an American basketball game."

She wasn't watching basketball. She was watching a Yankee game. However, had she been at a Knicks game, the likelihood of her being the subject of an actual rape joke would have been much higher. Have you seen the ticket prices to go watch those shit bags play?!! Not to mention...the long wrap sheet the Knicks happen to have.

Bullshit #6 - "...he had a daughter out of wedlock himself."

Ma'am, I hate to be the one to have to break it to you, but Dave doesn't have a daughter. He has a son. And he's 6. And the lady in the Elvis glasses is poking fun at him and his mother because he's a b-word and his mom's a slut.

So to you Mr. Closeted Nancy In The Gray Fleece...if I was the, obviously, frustrated but patient black woman you happened to be mocking with your pointed finger and hips and head wiggled enough to make any sister from my neighborhood proud, I would respond....

Yes. Obviously, more than all of you put together, and I am far more rational than you.