tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post6807940320411926670..comments2009-02-18T15:36:34.698-08:00Comments on PissBoy and Vinegar: The Ballad of PissBoy and MariePissBoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02337389121253715184noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-76005375546748255452009-02-18T15:36:00.000-08:002009-02-18T15:36:00.000-08:00Any updates??Any updates??MissNevhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13746276666157403769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-70348275867750341792009-02-10T06:24:00.000-08:002009-02-10T06:24:00.000-08:00I can see clearly now where your thoughts were. N...I can see clearly now where your thoughts were. No worries though. i can totally see how certain things like this can cause concern, and your example makes it ultra valid. I really did this because of Pajiba. People who read Pajiba, freindly or not, are typically pretty strong, opinionated people and i was more or less just throwing myself out there. I was honestly expecting a lot worse than what i got. I suppose I got what seem like empathetic comments because all of us have been on one side of my current situation at one time or another, and hate or love the person on the other side...you always want to get it back.<BR/><BR/>Speaking about how Marie might react, I wrote this because I thought I knew her well enough. And it turns out I did. But for all I know she could have read it and never wanted to speak to me or see me again. But now, we are trying together to work through this....not because i wrote this but because I got the balls to go to her. And I do feel pain. And it's not the pain of getting caught or the pain of she and I at one time, being definitely over. (which...don't get me wrong...hurt like hell) But what hurt the worst was knowing what i did to her, and it still hurts. And I really don't want that hurt to go away. i couldn't live with myself if I forget how I made her feel.<BR/><BR/>I in no way thought you were trying to belittle my pain or brush it aside. I really do appreciate your comments and candor. I hope you come back. i won't be able to update this thing as frequently as i like because i have a relationship to focus on and help repair...even if it means we ultimately end up apart. Thanks 'yama.PissBoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02337389121253715184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-1432620086397329062009-02-09T22:18:00.000-08:002009-02-09T22:18:00.000-08:00I think you're misunderstanding me. I don't think ...I think you're misunderstanding me. I don't think you shouldn't express yourself to Marie. I wouldn't change a word in what you give to her. I just don't understand why you're expressing yourself to the internet at large. <BR/><BR/>The only reason I responded to your blog at all is because I've seen (and been through myself) situations like this where a personal fight or problem gets brought out into the open by one party, and in my experience it's always gone really poorly. Of the worst two instances, one ended in a restraining order, and the other with an angry boyfriend threatening to break into my friend's workplace with a baseball bat. When people's private business gets made public without their consent, they tend to get defensive really quickly, or lash out more seriously than they might have otherwise. I've seen it happen way too many times. That was the only intent of my original post: to point out that making this a public letter rather than a private one might end up working against you.<BR/><BR/>From the perspective of the intended reader alone, your story sounds like a guy who messed up, feels terrible, and desperately wants a second chance. But when you put it online, it seems like there's an ulterior motive, and it's easy to see how someone who's already angry with you could read bad things into it. I mean, there must be a reason you wanted other people to read it. Are you trying to garner sympathy by making yourself sound like a nice guy? Get your mutual friends on your side? Put pressure on her to get back together? There are a lot of ways to interpret it where you end up looking like a jerk. <BR/><BR/>And just to clarify, I'm not saying any of that is your actual intent. It's just not a very big leap to make, particularly by someone who has no reason to give you the benefit of the doubt.<BR/><BR/>I know my writing comes off as cold and brusque -- that's just how I write, but I can see how it's not the best for this topic. But I was trying to warn you, not belittle your pain. I saw things that I've been through in Marie's situation, and to me it looked like you were setting yourself up to have her dismiss you in anger instead of think about the situation calmly. <BR/><BR/>No need to defend my right to say anything on your personal blog -- I really don't care if you ignore and delete both of my posts. I just thought this was a situation where my viewpoint could be useful, but if that isn't the case, just get rid of them.<BR/><BR/>I do hope that this can come to some kind of conclusion where you both end up happy. And I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you -- that really wasn't the plan. I hope this version is clearer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-37036118564361667122009-02-09T08:16:00.000-08:002009-02-09T08:16:00.000-08:00Thanks for the feedback nothayama, but I need to l...Thanks for the feedback nothayama, but I need to leave it up. Yes, I know the writing is stylized in a way...but I fail to see where I try to make Marie out to be the bad guy. I don't know? maybe I just keep skipping over the couple sentences that I wrote that say how bad of a person she is and how much she sucks. This was never intended to be anything more than me pouring myself out about the most shameful thing I have ever done in my entire life and how much i hurt her. And yes...to try to explain how much I hurt knowing what i did to her. That's the only downside to reading someone's emotions and thoughts. You can put the inflections and emotion where your head puts it...not where it was intially intended.<BR/><BR/>As far as "Pissboy-supportive comments"...not a single one says anything about how I'm in the right anywhere. The support seems more to be genuine empathy and understanding of what I was trying to express. Haven't you ever been in a situation where you hurt and were physically ill because of how much regret you carried? Or haven't you ever had something blow up in your face that you would do anything for to get a second chance? If not...then that may be why you're not getting me.<BR/><BR/>But yeah...thanks for reading it and at least being nice enough to take the time to express to me your opinion. While ultimately, on my page, your opinion doesn't matter, (please refer to my blog title's header...in case you missed it) I will fight til the death for your right to express it. Good day to you.PissBoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02337389121253715184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-51058179883968638712009-02-08T14:43:00.000-08:002009-02-08T14:43:00.000-08:00So...this is a nice piece of writing, but why in t...So...this is a nice piece of writing, but why in the world would you post it online? I don't know you, or Marie. I'm only here because I'm a regular lurker on a movie website. This whole situation isn't my business, but here I am commenting on it anyway, just like the other 15 or so people who commented before me. If I were Marie, I'd be pretty pissed off that an account of my breakup was online for all the world to see -- with all of Pissboy's mistakes glossed over with pretty language, and with a bunch of Pissboy-supportive comments from people who don't know the situation attached at the bottom. I'd feel misrepresented, and put on the spot by the public nature of all this. I'd feel like you were trying to turn me into the bad guy, even though you were the one who screwed up in the first place. I don't know what sort of person she actually is, so maybe I'm totally off the mark, but I have never once seen a relationship problem made better by dragging unrelated people into it. <BR/><BR/>Your letter's been up for five days now, so this is coming a bit late, but you should seriously consider taking it down.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-41624921702521495902009-02-05T08:01:00.000-08:002009-02-05T08:01:00.000-08:00Whoa. This is too agonizingly familiar.You made y...Whoa. This is too agonizingly familiar.<BR/><BR/>You made your choice, PB, and now Marie has to make hers. Your and Marie's relationship has been changed forever; whatever relationship may emerge, it won't -- it can't -- be the one that existed before.<BR/><BR/>This post reads like an elegy to what was, and in my experience there is significant danger in trying to recapture an unrecoverable past. That doesn't by itself make a future with Marie not worth pursuing, but you are both different people now than you were then (inwardly, as well as to one another).<BR/><BR/>I have repeated certain patterns of behavior in relationships in my life which suggest that I'm an untrustworthy partner, and I realize that I've invested far more time in trying to demonstrate my worthiness (selfishly and falsely) than I have in actually being worthy (i.e., selflessly committed). There isn't enough information in what you wrote for me to know whether my experience might be relevant to you or not, but I'll toss it out as a strawman anyhow. I know for my part that I've had to question what I want, why I want it, and what I'm willing to endure to get it AND to keep it. Then, in the intolerable solitude, I've waited for another to make their choice...which waiting, somewhat counterintuitively, became easier once I got (and stayed!) sober.Che Groverahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07745391171094256873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-27811726475562792232009-02-05T02:44:00.000-08:002009-02-05T02:44:00.000-08:00**lets out breath I didn't know I'd been holding f...**lets out breath I didn't know I'd been holding for the last minute**<BR/><BR/>That was extraordinary. Not often you see a guy turn himself inside out, rip out his beating heart, put it on the table and *dissect* it unflinchingly.<BR/><BR/>Having said that: um. Let the poor woman process. That was a LOT to throw at her and it may be as excruciatingly painful for her to read as it obviously was for you to write.<BR/><BR/>I won't wish you good luck, but I will salute you, sir.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-32186501608589127832009-02-04T17:49:00.000-08:002009-02-04T17:49:00.000-08:00Things will work out. I've been hurt and betrayed...Things will work out. I've been hurt and betrayed very badly before. The hardest part is putting yourself back out there and possibly be hurt all over again. Trust isn't an easy thing to gain and it sure as hell isn't easy to get back. Just give it time. <BR/><BR/>Beautifully written. I wish you and Marie the very best of luck, come what may.MelodyLanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15820218819541490794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-32127169932157294382009-02-04T17:00:00.000-08:002009-02-04T17:00:00.000-08:00This was beautifully written and I'm not gonna' li...This was beautifully written and I'm not gonna' lie, made me tear up at work. Don't ever fucking do that again! =)<BR/><BR/>I have my fingers crossed for you. For both of you.Laineyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18233452153258897072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-89370874641660885132009-02-04T14:23:00.000-08:002009-02-04T14:23:00.000-08:00Wow...just..wow.I am so sorry and I hope things wo...Wow...just..wow.<BR/><BR/>I am so sorry and I hope things work out for you. Just keep hoping.Snathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17075210681778390258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-73558866948055744992009-02-04T14:03:00.000-08:002009-02-04T14:03:00.000-08:00John, my dad cheated on my mom, and though the sit...John, my dad cheated on my mom, and though the situation was different (with 3 kids involved and 12 years of marriage at the time) I can see the similarities of both of your pain. My dad was inconsolably remorseful, and my mother deeply hurt. If it doesn't work out, it's not because she doesn't love you, it's that the chasm created by the betrayal hurts too much to take another chance. And you're a strong guy who will get through it. Everyone does, despite the time it may take. <BR/><BR/>I think in the end it comes to whether the person who was cheated on can decide to live through that hurt and try to make it work. And I think it's absolutely possible.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11229185916084909639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-27287550342111043472009-02-04T13:13:00.000-08:002009-02-04T13:13:00.000-08:00Wow. Heartbreaking. There is nothing worse than ...Wow. Heartbreaking. There is nothing worse than betrayal. I truly hope you are able to come through this. There is never weakness in forgiveness.MissNevhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13746276666157403769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-52283800959147462502009-02-04T13:07:00.000-08:002009-02-04T13:07:00.000-08:00...and just so everyone knows. Marie has read thi......and just so everyone knows. Marie has read this. I sent her the link yesterday when i wrote it.PissBoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02337389121253715184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-3008370182653381802009-02-04T12:56:00.000-08:002009-02-04T12:56:00.000-08:00Oh, man... What else can I say? Hang in there. Kee...Oh, man... What else can I say? Hang in there. Keep trying. I'll hope for the best.<BR/><BR/>I really can't find words... But thank you for sharing this with us. Big Chilean hug for you.Sofihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16173898503465070403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-48440338739564262052009-02-04T12:41:00.000-08:002009-02-04T12:41:00.000-08:00Oh gosh, that made me cry. I went through a sort ...Oh gosh, that made me cry. I went through a sort of similar situation and unfortunately was not forgiven, but Marie sounds like she's a sweet gal and hopefully she'll have a big enough heart to try to get past this. This blog is a good start to winning her back :)<BR/>~tt_marieKristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794329432745426451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-17466869482772937832009-02-04T12:31:00.000-08:002009-02-04T12:31:00.000-08:00Dear PissBoy-You repeated quite a few times that i...Dear PissBoy-<BR/><BR/>You repeated quite a few times that it's up to Marie, now. I believe it's a little bit more complicated than that. There is Marie IS and there is Marie DOES. And if Marie IS truly loved you for who you are, then Marie DOES will come around, even if it takes some time. I don't believe one stops loving another because of hurt or betrayal, but rather pulls themselves away for healing and introspection. Be patient; no one is Superman, and it is often the case that being away from someone hurts more than anything they can actually do to you.<BR/><BR/>P.S. I was cheated on by the love of my life. A decade later, the scars are still there. So is he. And to be honest, I hope he's around for a few decades more, even if it means an extra scar or two.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-39260860413617953322009-02-04T12:23:00.000-08:002009-02-04T12:23:00.000-08:00You need to tell her everything you just told us. ...You need to tell her everything you just told us. She needs to know this.<BR/><BR/>Best of luck to you, I hope it works out in the end.The Krakenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08130296484029792631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-60468037873351449262009-02-04T11:29:00.000-08:002009-02-04T11:29:00.000-08:00ha! I quit just before my silver test, which I SO...ha! I quit just before my silver test, which I SO would have nailed. Thanks for the vote of confidence though you guys.PissBoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02337389121253715184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-77232422899362257582009-02-04T11:24:00.000-08:002009-02-04T11:24:00.000-08:00Whoa... I really hope she reads this and tries to ...Whoa... <BR/><BR/>I really hope she reads this and tries to understand. There is no way a woman can read this and not try to reach out to you. Especially if she had feelings for you. My bet is that she still has them.<BR/><BR/>P.S. I was an Arthur Murray instructor too. Full bronze, baby...Troublehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11499917544242925439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8681667625372610608.post-59890020747267621542009-02-04T10:42:00.000-08:002009-02-04T10:42:00.000-08:00PB, my friend, all hope is not lost. I, too, have ...PB, my friend, all hope is not lost. I, too, have recently been to this very, very dark place, and have emerged from the other side....into a light brighter and more beautiful than I ever imagined possible. Let Marie know....I hope she reads this. Any woman reading this couldn't help but want to run to you, to talk to you, to try to figure out what went wrong and make it right. <BR/><BR/>My Pajiba friends stood by me when I was on the precipice....we will stand by you.dammitjanethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09902253122840047094noreply@blogger.com